Special Time with Baby
The time you get to spend with your baby will become the treasured memories you keep forever. It is a very personal choice as to whether you see and hold your baby or not, there is no right or wrong. Please do what is right for you and if you are not up to seeing your baby you can ask for a photograph to be taken, that if you wish you can look at later. We hope you create and capture the treasured memories and moments spent with your baby that feels right for you. Please remember that you only have one chance at making these lifelong precious memories of your baby or babies.
Many bereaved parents have later spoken of how important it was for them to spend time with their baby and how that time and those memories, especially photos are forever treasured.
Suggestions for spending special time with your baby
Holding your baby
It is ok just to look at your baby.
Hold, cuddle and kiss your baby for as long as you feel you want and need to.
Time with your baby
Spend as much time as you feel you can and want with your baby.
It is ok to keep on asking the hospital staff to bring your baby back to you.
It is ok to keep your baby with you overnight.
Read a story, sing and or tell your baby all the things you wish you would have been able to if he or she was alive.
It is ok to take your baby outside for a walk.
Find out if you may take your baby home just for a little while.
Bathing/Dressing your baby
You might like to give your baby a bath
The hospital might have some clothes that will fit your baby or you might have something special you want to dress your baby in.
Take photo's and/or video footage during this beautiful bath time.
Photos of your baby
Ask for a photo or photo's of your baby to be taken by the staff, most Hospitals have a digital camera that they can do this with.
Take your own photos or have someone take photos. You can have your photos printed in colour or black and white.
You may not feel you want to look at the photos right away but having the photos means if you do change your mind you will have them.
Take photos of your baby close up, of your baby wrapped up in a bunny rug, with you holding your baby, of your baby in what they are wearing.
Take photo's of your baby with a teddy or other special gifts.
You might like to organise a professional photographer, see link below.
You may want to use your video camera. It may not be footage that you can watch at first but there may come a time when you do want to see it.
Take photos of the flowers/cards you receive.
Keep a special journal of your time in hospital.
Write all about your baby, your thoughts, what you are feelings or poetry
You could write a letter or special message to your baby.
Ask for special momentos of your baby to keep, such as the tape measure used, a precious lock of hair, the cot name tag, your baby's hospital band.
Ask for hand & footprints printed in ink.
Ask if the hospital does hand & foot castings of your baby. (If not we are able to recommend some services available please contact us)
You may want to ask for and keep the clothes that your baby was wearing and bunny rug he or she was wrapped in.
What your baby may look like
Many bereaved parents have wanted to know what to expect with the arrival of their baby or what their baby may look like. Here are some shared experiences from other bereaved parents
- "our baby looked so perfectly formed just tiny"
- "she had exquisite details"
- "her little mouth flopped open and that was the only thing that made her not look alive"
- "he was soft and his skin was delicate but he was oh so perfect"
- "they really just looked like they were sleeping"
- "his skin was quite dark and bruised looking"
- "they weren't even as tiny as I had imagined"
- "they had beautiful cherry red lips"
Below is a link to an Australian not for profit organisation that volunteer their professional photographic services to bereaved parents.
Heartfelt Photographers- Heartfelt is a volunteer organisation of professional photographers from all over Australia dedicated to giving the gift of photographic memories to families that have experienced stillbirths, premature and ill infants and children in the Neonatal Intensive Care Units of their local hospitals, as well as children with serious and terminal illnesses. All services are provided free of charge.
Happy Castings can provide hand and foot sculptures for babies who pass away in South Australia. Hayley Sutton offers a proffesional and personal service. Hayley is able to visit you in hospital, your home or the funeral home. These hand and foot scuptures are beautiful memories and will be treasured always. Happy Catings are a proud supporter of the TLC Program.
Please contact us if you live in any other states for a referral for this very special keepsake.